For many women over 50, self-care isn’t vanity—it’s part of navigating menopause, protecting our health, and maintaining the confidence we’ve worked hard to build.
The other day, my best friend and I were laughing about comments we’ve seen online claiming that women’s standards are “too high.”
You’ve probably seen them too.
“That’s why you’re single.”
“You’re asking for too much.”
“Women need to lower their expectations.”
At first, I brushed them off. But then I wandered into my bathroom one morning, wrapped in nothing but a towel, and had a realization that made me laugh out loud.
Before I had picked out an outfit…
Before I had done my makeup…
Before I had even poured my first cup of coffee…
I had already invested more than a thousand dollars into taking care of myself.
I’m not talking about luxury handbags or designer shoes.
I’m talking about the basics.
My hair-care routine? About $114.
My skincare products—the ones helping me navigate aging gracefully, support changing hormones, keep my skin hydrated, and address the occasional menopause-induced breakout? Around $580.
Body care products like washes, oils, lotions, and other essentials? About $180.
Supplements and internal wellness products like magnesium, multivitamins, and the things that help me feel like myself? Another $189.
That’s $1,063 in products dedicated to maintaining my health, confidence, and well-being.
And I’m still standing in my towel.
Now, before anyone gets nervous, this isn’t a blog about expecting a man to fund my skincare routine.
Quite the opposite.
This is about recognizing that self-investment changes the way you view relationships.
As women in our fifties, many of us are navigating menopause, changing skin, changing hair, changing bodies, and changing priorities. We’re learning new routines, researching ingredients, trying supplements, staying active, protecting our peace, and figuring out how to feel our best in a season of life that doesn’t always make it easy.
We’re investing—not because someone told us to, but because we value ourselves.
And once you’ve spent years intentionally building a life that supports your health, confidence, and joy, it becomes harder to hand access to that life to someone who dismisses those same values.
That’s not having “high standards.”
That’s having self-respect.
The truth is, my standards didn’t appear overnight.
They grew alongside every boundary I learned to enforce.
Every difficult lesson I survived.
Every leadership role that stretched me.
Every morning walk.
Every healthy choice.
Every quiet decision to choose growth over comfort.
Every dollar I willingly spent taking care of the woman I’m becoming.
So when someone says women should lower their standards, I can’t help but smile.
Because my standards aren’t rooted in fantasy.
They’re rooted in intentionality.
I’m not looking for perfection.
I’m not looking for someone to finance my life.
I’m not looking for someone to validate my worth.
I’m looking for compatibility.
Someone who understands investing in themselves.
Someone who values health, growth, curiosity, kindness, and consistency.
Someone whose lifestyle complements mine rather than competes with it.
The older I get, the more I realize that compatibility isn’t measured by income or appearances. It’s measured by alignment.
Do we approach life the same way?
Do we both believe in taking care of ourselves?
Do we value peace over chaos?
Do we see growth as a lifelong commitment?
Those are the questions that matter.
So yes, before I even get dressed, I’m already a thousand-dollar woman.
Not because of what I’m wearing.
Not because of what’s in my bathroom cabinet.
But because every day I choose to invest in my health, my confidence, and my future.
And the right partner won’t look at that investment and call it “too much.”
He’ll recognize it for what it is:
A woman who decided she was worth the effort long before anyone else had the chance to agree.
-Bettina
Confidence lives here
What’s one way you invest in yourself that has quietly raised your standards—not for other people, but for the life you’re willing to live?