There should be a mandatory waiting period before anyone sends a Facebook message while emotionally activated.
Maybe 24 hours.
Maybe 48.
Maybe until your best friend has confiscated your phone.
Recently, my best friend shared something that perfectly illustrated why emotionally healthy friendships are so important.
Nearly a year after ending a long-term relationship, she has worked hard to rebuild her peace. The relationship had its share of challenges, and although she still acknowledges the care that once existed, she has accepted that it ended. Today, she and her former partner can exist cordially from a respectful distance.
Then, seemingly out of nowhere, another woman entered the chat.
A childhood acquaintance connected to both of them reached out through Facebook. At first, the conversation appeared casual. But when my friend politely declined to engage emotionally, the message pivoted.
The woman announced that she was now involved with the ex and generously offered to answer any questions my friend might have.
Questions?
About a relationship she had already left behind?
My first reaction wasn’t exactly printable.
But after laughing for a moment, we landed somewhere much healthier.
I encouraged my friend to respond plainly—without insults, without theatrics, simply making it clear that she wasn’t inviting unnecessary dysfunction into her life. Then I suggested something even more powerful:
Block.
Delete.
Move on.
She did.
Peace restored.
And it reminded both of us how valuable it is to have one trusted person who can help us see clearly when emotions threaten to take over.
Not the friend who says, “Girl, ruin his day.”
The friend who says, “Girl, preserve your peace.”
Not the friend who drafts paragraphs.
The friend who drafts boundaries.
Not the friend who fuels your impulse.
The friend who asks, “Will this matter next Tuesday?”
Sometimes wisdom sounds less like a motivational speech and more like:
“Absolutely not. Block her and order dinner.”
Therapists Are Wonderful Too.
Let’s be clear: a supportive friend is not a substitute for therapy.
Therapists help us process long-standing wounds, recognize patterns, and build healthier emotional habits.
Trusted friends help us navigate
Tuesday afternoon when someone unexpectedly appears in our inbox trying to invite us into unnecessary drama.
There is room for both.
One of the most surprising parts of adulthood is realizing that not everyone is operating from the same emotional maturity.
Some people genuinely believe closure requires confrontation.
Some believe validation comes from comparison.
Some believe winning means making sure someone else knows they lost.
It doesn’t.
Healthy people rarely feel compelled to insert themselves into situations that have already ended.
I joked with my best friend that “only crows eat roadkill.”
The car that created the roadkill doesn’t circle back around to reclaim it.
It keeps driving.
Maybe that’s the lesson.
When something is behind you, keep moving.
Don’t chase people who have already exited your story.
Don’t interrupt your healing to entertain someone else’s insecurity.
And definitely don’t let strangers—or almost strangers—rent space in your emotional real estate for free.
The older I get, the less impressed I am by dramatic confrontations and perfectly worded clapbacks.
I’m impressed by women who quietly protect their peace.
Women who call a trusted friend before making a decision.
Women who choose boundaries over battles.
Women who know that silence isn’t weakness—it can be evidence that healing has already done its work.
Because sometimes the strongest response isn’t the clever comeback.
Sometimes it’s the block button.
And sometimes the best friend you’ll ever have is the one who lovingly says,
“Hand me your phone. You’re better than this.”
Have you ever had a friend save you from making an emotional decision you later would have regretted? Or have you been that friend for someone else? Sometimes the greatest act of loyalty isn't cheering someone on—it's gently steering them back toward their own peace.